Sunday, 30 June 2013

The Horn (worthy of a capital letter)

I was reasonably lucky with my skin as teenager only ever getting the odd chocolate pimple here and there, but the fright of it and the rule don't ever squeeze a pimple, let it run its course never sat right with me. I could never watch it grow, turn red and angry until the volcano sported a nice little yellow puss ball and then leave it there for the rest of civilisation to cringe over. Nope, I always squeezed.

So yesterday with a friend to visit and pride to keep intact I squeezed the heck out of one little zit and the next thing you know I have a whopping lopsided rhino oozing white blood cells off the side of my shnoz.
You know you have gone too far when you scrap away half the skin on your nose and then a scab forms, don't you?!
No amount of foundation was ever going to cover this monster up.
So I gave my girlfriend my left cheek, which was weird b/c it should be the right but she would have taken out the tip of the horn....eek. Then I tried to make a joke of it but the truth is, it was no laughing matter. It wasn't just a blemish, it was a flaming stigma.

The last time this happened we were in Fiji and in retrospect I could have worn an itsy-bitsy-tiny-winy-yellow-polked-dot-bikini and no one would ever have noticed that I had stretch marks and was sporting an extra few kgs of Christmas pud...this tropical pimple was festy and out there. It was right where Cindy Crawford's mole is positioned so for a very short moment I thought perhaps everyone would think it was just that, but hubby brought me crashing back to reality with an "oh my goodness darl, that is so disgusting." So with my tropical zit killing the holiday romance and my full piece cossie equally as unappealing I took my ugly self into the water and snorkelled (undetected) for a few days. And guess what, salt water works a treat, within a few days the little sucker was gone and I could resume sexy wife in a not so sexy onesie in the hammock.

Ever had one of those pimples?
I always worry for the bride-to-bes, that would be my worst nightmare. It's one of the first things I check for when they come down the isle. Is that rude or just caring? I always bring my foundation just incase I find one poor bride tarred by the angry pimple stick.

Anyway, it's time to face reality again, I have to attend 2 kids parties today and so I must begin the process of cover-up! After much discussion yesterday with my girlfriend she shared a little (big) secret: wear the biggest and boldest jewellery you own, it will make the pimple look small. Thanks Bri x

Enjoy another rainy day of winter holidays folks (anyone as sick of it as I am?)

With Love
Liv xo

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