Wednesday, 19 June 2013

True or False ?

This morning I was reading Em's hilarious account of her first-post-birth-solo-parenting-outing to the shops, over at The Beetle Shack. With 4 kids, I've been there and it's terrifying. You arm yourself with whatever it takes, and hope like hell you all make it back home in one sane piece. But it rarely happens with me. I either return totally broke, crying or flustered....sometimes even minus a fish.
It's hard to believe some of the scenarios I've found myself in- I can laugh in retrospect.

(7 years ago)
Not long after moving interstate and feeling lonely and VERY sorry for myself, I bundled the boys up and headed to the shops for a mere morning distraction.
We did the spilt milkshake thing, and the "mummy doesn't have $2" sit on the merry-go-round thing, and then we did the kill half an hour at the pet shop window thing.
But these did little to stem my flow of tears, and the guilt I felt for moving the kids away from their cousins. So in a moment of madness I walked over to the counter and said "Two goldfish please, and in separate bags if you don't mind".
With two happy vegemites and a not so sad mummy we headed off. Moments later in the middle of Westfield, Jimmy (then 2 1/2 yrs) dropped his bag and it imploded on the floor. Screaming children, water everywhere and little goldie flipping all over the place pretty much sets the scene. NOT A SOUL STOPPED TO HELP THIS DAMSEL IN DISTRESS. NOT ONE. I was yelling at Buz (then 4 yrs) to take the extremely tight elastic band off his bag and to open it up wide so I could flip the other little sucker in in one clean swoop, but he couldn't get the damn band off and nor could I. I realised then that a little bit of water had pooled in the bottom of the pram on impact and so on my 10th attempt I flicked goldie up, triple-piking into the pram hold for a moments reprieve.
I then broke open the second bag, emptied its resident and water into a tiny lunchbox (grapes included),  assisted goldie in the pram hold with his second triple pike into the lunch box, closed the lid, picked my ego up off the floor whilst carefully avoiding any eye contact and got the hell out of there.


....and I have millions of stories just like this....all mine.....all embarrassing.

With Love
 Liv xo

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